blue sky

Tuesday, December 30, 2003
this is killing me

Music of the moment : Akustatik - OAG

This sucks. This really sucks. I feel like I dun want to live this life anymore. Everything is weighing its back on me, I dun have the guts to live tomorrow anymore. I hate this. I hate this lot.

I just quarrelled with Ariff. And yep, it's my fault. I dono whut's my frikkin problem sometimes. Mebbe I'm too slefish over something that I wanted. Mebbe I shud consider the element 0f being considerate into my life...What an airhead I am. I shud go jump into Mordor.

And plus, I have friends who dun really care about me. OMG, people might say I'm so so pathetic, but the truth is, well, I am. It's not like they hate me or something, its just that I felt left behind sometimes. Hurm...I dono. I dono about anything in this life anymore.

I feel like all this while, I've been trying to satisfy everyone, but for whut??? I can't even have what I want anymore, as if anybody cares. I might have been known as friendly-bla-bla, but inside, nobody knows. Nobody will ever know.

 izyan just babbled at 09:23 pm 
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*sleepy head*

Music of the moment : Get Free - The Vines

Gosh, it's just 1 pm now but I felt like it's oredi 4pm.....Mebbe because I started my day early....

I got class at 8 today, Economics to be exact., And as usual, I think you guys can tell by now, I slept. Oh gosh....O_O But feels good tho sleeping, because if I sleep at home, no aircond mahh.....Huhuhuhu...but my class ended early because the lecturer pitied us (practically everybody slept...^_^') by 30 minutes, so we decided to grab ourselves some breakfast before Physics Lab.

My breakfast today (wahh...long time no eat breakfast) was very nice actually. I ate two half-cooked eggs (OMG IT'S GOOEY! I LOVE GOOEY EGGS! ^_^V), one sausage, and toasts. NICE. And a cup of hot milo. NICE NICE! ME IS THE LIKETH!

After that, we still have 40 minutes to kill, so we went to CLC concourse because Adelaine wanted to register for aerobics. But unfortunately the booth haven't actually opened yet, so we kinda fooled ourselves in the CLC just now. There was this CNYE thingy happening, and I saw Justin taking care the booth for herbal eggs. Adelaine bought me those egss!! NICE @_@

Me : Hey Kenneth, it's nice! I LIKE IT!!! It tastes like chicken!
Kenneth : Wahlau weh, its chicken eggs laaa!!! What la u...

AFter that. we went to Fosee for the Physics LAb. We got Ms Goh again, this time for this subject. Nice. I like her, altho I didn't really absorb wahat was she yammering about just now. And then I ended up copying answers from Melvin and Nelson for the exercises. DOMO SUMIMASEN!!! Huhuhuhu....(>_<)

So she let us off early by one hour and now here I am, back in my house, typing my entry for today. After this, I shall go and pray and sleep!!! ZzzZZZzzzzz

 izyan just babbled at 01:41 pm 
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Monday, December 29, 2003
the usual monday rant

Music of the moment : I Want To Save You - Something Corporate

Dengan ini, saya dengan segala bangganya merepot apa yg telah jadi pada hari ni....

I woke up at 730, class was at nine...my room mate's so damn kewl, she got class at 8, and yet she could wake up at 740. Haih~ I wish I can be more like her....

My wardrobe was being cruel to me later after I got out from bathroom. I found out that I have nothing to wear. SERIOUSLY (>_<)...Waaaa.a.aa.a.aaa...rase cam nak nangis jer pagi tadik...huhu...but luckily I managed to korek2...and I found my Gap shirt and a pair of khakis...Ahh....bantai jer la...As if I give a damn about whut I wear...as long as I wear SOMETHING, that counts...miahaha..~~ ^_^V

So, I went to class, sat down, and listened to the lecture. Urgh...IT Maths 2...sungguh tak beh. Tapi takpe, abaikan perasaan mengantuk and just get through the whole one hour ordeal. Unfortunately, this lecturer decided to make my life uglier than it has oredi been. She called us "dull". CAN U BELIEVE THAT? WELL, I CAN'T! Urgh...is this what I'm gonna get for the rest of the trimester? I might as well curl up and DIE. >_< She has certainly no right to call us dull, especially after we got up DAMN early to even BE in her class, so she shud be thankful for that. *so unnapreciative* Besides, who's she's calling dull again? I mean, take a look at her and there's onli one word in my head :DULL, with the capital D. Urgh. IT maths is making my life miserable. URGGHHHHH! What's her frikkin problem? She just got dumped by her bf ker???

Anyways, went to PS with Adelaine and had this UBERLY early lunch (my god...at TEN!!). And then we bumped into Melvin + Kenneth + Chin Huat and they kinda talked all the way about RO. Wahahaha...sungguh tidak memahami o__O Orrooo????

After that, we have Physics tutorial and OMG, she's not even mad because apparently, my classmates and me are lazy, lazy people, and we decided to make ourselves busy during the weekends and ended up NOT doing her toturials....Sekor2 mengcopy answers jer tadik...nyiahahahaa....^__^'' Biase la tuh, kije bebudak yg pemalas...miehehehe...Plus we were kinda distracted becoz there's this CNY thingy going on at the CLC concourse and it was really noisy! I SO WANT TO JOIN THE CROWD, but sadly, I have class...T__T

Then, one hour gap, I went home. Hohohoh...chatted with Pecal and Ariff a lil bit. Hohoho...discovered that Pecal actually knows Chapan, and that's...weird. I dunno, suddenly everything becomes so...berkait. Like, Pecal knows Chapan, who is actually my teacher's son, and who's also a fren of mine, and Pecal is actually the bf of my best fren...Come again??? O__O

Neways, after that, I dashed to Fosee for my next class, the ever-so-confusing Economics. Huhuhu....this is certainly not my day eh? The lecturer somehow, out of 24 students, decided to call MY name up, and decided to torture me.

Mdm Arifah : Izyan Suhaila? Is she here?
Me : *angkat tangan* I'm here...
Mdm Arifah : Oh goodie, then mebbe you can show us the production possibilities table on the board and explain it to the whole class?
Me : Um...are you sure? Because I'm not sure...
Mdm Arifah : Um, nevermind if you're wrong. We're all here to learn rite? So please Izyan, show us...

So there I was, feeling very hesitant, walked up to the whiteboard and scribbled something which I also don't know whut on the board.

Me : So, uh, I'm not sure how this *pointing on the board* happened *class laughed* but I assure you, there is a very logical explaination behind it which I will try to, um, explain.

So yeah, I crapped. But the lecturer said that I had been right! So a plus point for me! Now at least, I gained SOMETHING from her classes. ^__^'

So next up wast IT Maths again...huhuhuhuh....AGAIN! This time being, she decided to kick somebody out of the class because that guy talked on the phone. Yes, it's rude to do that, but she didn't exactly set us the rules on handphones. Hantu betoi lecturer....hantu gilaa...But behind all that madness that she potrayed, she cancelled the class for tmrw's nite because everybody seems to be going back to their hometown. Not me though...Alor Setar jauh...waaaa..a.a.a.a...T__T

Then, another one hour gap (I hate one hour gap!! Arggghhhh!!!!) and I went to PS to buy some sweets. Huhuhu....I slept just now in IT Maths (heyy....not me alone k?? Chin Huat also slept k???) and I dun want that to happen in English. Huhu...So I went to class UBERLY EXTRA EARLY and when I got out from the lift.,..I saw this one familiar figure eating roti....ceit..makan berjalan tuh...Andrew Andrew.....when will you ever change?

Anywayz, waited there with Adelaine, and then class started. HUHUHU. *kepenatan tahap cipannn*. Anywayz, class was usual and there was nothing exciting. CHOTTO MATTE KUDASAI!! We gave our names for drama, and we've chosen the story "Lamb To The Slaughter" (Kenneth : OI!!! Lamb chop!!!!). So that means the main character will be a female, which leaves only two, me and Adelaine. And I dun have a very nice feeling about this, but they've talked about getting me to play the main character. HUHUHUHU!!!! MATTE!!! I'm not good innit!!! OHH TIDAKKK!!!!!! WAAAAAA!!!!!

After that, had dinner with Yana. SUPER NICE NASI LEMAK!! YUMMY!!! *kenyang perutkuuu~~~ And Yana gave me this The Two Towers Extended Version vcd to watch...Huih, that shall keep me busy for the next few days...miehehe..sori yek arep...I tgk dulu..

So, I shall go, and watch TTT...miehehe! Ja minna!!!

 izyan just babbled at 09:08 pm 
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Sunday, December 28, 2003
let me be the one who wipe ur tears

Music of the moment : Will You Wait For Me ? - Kavana

This is bitch. I still can't connect to ICQ, ans my sister seems to be having the same problem. I think there's something REALLY wrong with the server. Urgh, I hate the feeling of not being connected. This sucks. This really sucks.

Neways, I read Dal's blog just now. And she put this really *amazing* article about love and life, and I can't believe, but I even shed a tear. *shucks* Let me rephrase some of it. *sori yek Dal, curik skit article tuh* ^_^V

A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for him, it's when he ignores you and still you long for him. It's when he begins to love another and yet you still smile and say I'm happy for you. If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you NEVER have to die with it. The strongest people are NOT those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall.

Best to wait for the one you love than one who is around. Best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone. Sometimes the one you love turns out to be the one who hurts you the most, and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms and cries when you cry turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted. Laugh to your heart's content; you cannot go through life without it.

On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get back on the horse. But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time. To love is to risk rejection; to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure. But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risking nothing! To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true self; to love is to risk not to be loved in return.<--oh boy, I sure know this one...

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've every had.

.:: For the full article (in case you want to cry like I did), click here.

 izyan just babbled at 08:30 pm 
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a day out of ordinary

Music of the moment : Anticipating - Britney Spears

V V V happy song! LIKE IT! If you don't know what song is this, this is the Britney song for that Vios commercial...Ahhhh....so now you know ^_^

Day two of I-can't-seem-to-connect-to-ICQ-and-MSN. Urghhhhhh...I'm dying everyday...Usually, I don't give a rat ass about not connecting to MSN, but ICQ? Wahlau wehh...if u want to kill me pon, dun do me like this...this is mental torture dammit!

Prep
You are a.. PREP! This isn't really a subculture, just the definition of normal. You act normal. You talk normal. Hell, you look normal. You have a tendency to agree with what everyone else says, and just go with the flow. You especially look down upon people who try to be different.. psh.

The Subculture Label Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla


So I'm a prep eh? So that means I'm normal? *thank god I'm normal! mum, I'm normal!!* But one thing that's not true, I DON'T look down upon people who try to be different. Hey, the world is big. Be whatever you want to be. I am under no authority to control that. Bleh~

I'm hungry like hell. And it's only like, 11 in the morning. Huh~~

 izyan just babbled at 11:08 am 
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Saturday, December 27, 2003
its nearing monday

Music of the moment : Emotion Sickness - Silverchair (all hail to the rock Goddess, Daniel Johns!)

I love weekends. Because I can sleep and sleep until god-knows when, and when I woke up, I'll be feeling dizzy and decided to sleep again to cure that dizziness! GYAAA!!!! ^^

Neways, I read my hellish TEN short stories and decided to choose the "Lamb To The Slaughter" by Roald Dahl for the drama to be based upon. I love Roald Dahl. Such amazing stories he wrote. Well, at least, never failed to amaze me though. *___* GLOMPS.

So, tomorrow's Sunday and the day after that is Monday. Ugh. I decided to hate Mondays. Know why? Hellish lectures. THAT FRIKKIN SIX HOURS! (>_<) Waaa..aa.a.a.a...I have this IT Maths 2 lecturer that NEVER SMILES, and I don't frikkin know whut's her problem. Gosh man, do I look like some kind of a freak or something? And she has this bad, bad, bad pronounciation of some English words. ROTF. At least that cheered me up sometimes in her class. Here's an example. How do u pronounce "Generally"? Ge-ne-ral-ly rite???? U know what she said? Brace yourself for this, ok? "GENERARRY" Now now people, I don't mean to diss her, but GENERARRY? Gosh, if I didn't know any better, I tot she said January AND THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE LESSON. MIahahahaha....And she sed we're cruel. Why can't she decide to be human some time and be done with it? Corky blimey, GENERARRY? My IT Maths lecturer in the first trimester was Miss Goh and she too has difficulties to pronounce some English words. Like "Always" is "Alway" to her. But at least she SMILES and has this UBERLY COOL style sense. AND SHE SMILES AT ME IN HALLWAYS. Now that I call, my friend, is a good lecturer.

But despite all the *weird* lecturers I got this trimester, there are few nice ones. Like my Comp App lecturer is like, way kewl. When he first entered the class, Me and Adelaine looked at each other and sed "IS HE OUR LECTURER?" because he brought HIS BACKPACK to class and that can't be right! HE BROUGHT A BACKPACK PEOPLE!!!! O___O I mix with backpack, backpackers mix with backpack, but lecturers DON'T mix with backpack. So there he was, feeling uberly nice entering the class and all, and introduced his name.

Guy-With-Backpack : So yeah, I'm your lecturer. My name's Christopher Oh Tick Hui. You may call me Chris....Bleh. Call me whatever you want.

Uberly nice eh? And he let us off *really* early during class. He let us off like, one hour early in the first class because "I don't teach during my first class. That's not my style". HE GOT STYLE PEOPLE!!!! ^_^ And last Wednesday, he ended the class early by (get this) ONE HOUR AND TWENTY MINUTES because half of the class is not there (some of them went home oredi to celebrate Christmas). SO KAKKOI! HE SHALL GET FIVE OUT FIVE IN MY ACADEMIC EVALUATION!

Darn, my ICQ + MSn still can't be used. I wonder what's wrong with the server. Damn you shitty server! I shall throw you to Mordor. Oh I will, yes I will...

 izyan just babbled at 09:09 pm 
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dry lips

Music of the moment : My Last Breath - Evanescence

So, I woke Ariff up this morning, at 0930 hrs if I'm not mistaken. But you know whut? I dozed off to dreamland again after that phone call, and I woke up an hour later....Haih~

Nothing to say, it's another beautiful Saturday morning and I'm being the lazy self that I am. So what's my plan for today eh? Let's see....I still have that hellish English short stories to read, plus English homeworks, Physics tutorials, that damn IT Maths tutorials, and also Economics to read (not that I'm gonna have any Economics exam, but I seriously DON'T KNOW what's been going on in that class. So sue me.) GGGYYAAAAAA!!!! And I still say that I am bored. I am so so pathetic.

ICQ somehow can't be connected. MY GOD >_< HORROR HORROR! The important medium of communication that I used frequently to chat is now can't be connected, which can only mean one thing : TOTAL DEATH! I can't rely on Y!M mannnn, they're so frikkin lagging in here. And MSN also can't be connected. Stupit EP servers. Someday I'll kick that servers. I swear.



Just thought that I put it up here. This is a picture of five of us after that Raya dinner. I'm sure you can spot me riteE??? Haha, so no need la telling you people which is which. This picture was taken at the President's Square (why did they name it President's Square? anywayz?? As if the President is going to go jogging there~~) So we took this picture using my camera and before we kena halau by the pak gat there. As if we kena halau la kan..but we kena once before and you know why? Because we laughed too loud. Stupit MMU guards! Why can't they let the children be free??? LIke birds??? WHEEEEEE~~~~

Oh yeah, I have this thing to put up before I go. I got this out of my sis's webbie. NICE ^_^

"Love is :
Not to forget but to forgive
Not to see but to understand
Not to hear but to listen
Not to let go but to HOLD ON"

So, I'm gonna go. Figure out why my ICQ + MSN won't work. I certainly woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.

 izyan just babbled at 11:57 am 
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Friday, December 26, 2003
2241 hours

Music of the moment : Why Worry - The All-American Rejects

I am feeling empty. No mood. NADA. NUTHING. And I'm like, whut the hell is going on with me? And I myself cannot answer that...

I'm being cranky. And grumpy. To all, esp Ariff. My gosh, what an airhead I am. So now he's gone, burning a cd. I dono, prolly he didnt want to speak to me again. Deserves me right.

I hate English short stories. They made me feel sleepy. And I ruined this day. Today of all days. Anniversary. S-t-o-o-p-i-d. Oh well, I am stupid.

Sorry Ariff. It's not PMS, if u're wondering. Ja minna.

 izyan just babbled at 10:49 pm 
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happy anniversary!

Music of the moment : Playing My Game (acoustic) - Lene Marlin

It's official! Me and Ariff is 2 years!! Its 26th of December!!! Yeaaayyy! Yesterday, aprroximately at 1, I called Ariff, and had a nice long chat with him. We kinda reviewed back what had happened along the way...wow...TWO FRIKKIN YEARS. Yeah yeah, mebbe you guys think that it's not much, but I never had thought of BEING with him for this long, so this quite an accomplishment for me ^_^

I kinda read my diary back just now, and I laughed at all my insecurities that I have poured inside it. Ah...those days when I was still young...BLISS. It was nice though, reading it all back. The way I wished Ariff wud've call me up, or the way I wished he wud've told me he loves me (because I told him first! I MADE THE FIRST MOVE!), or the way I missed him...But you know whut? Im glad things happened the way it had happened, and even though I wish somethings to be changed, oh well, it couldn't be, and I just have to keep moving on with it.

I'll never lose my grip on you Ariff. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.

p/s- "I think I love you daddy"

 izyan just babbled at 10:29 am 
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Thursday, December 25, 2003
I'm happy and tired...

Music of the moment : Roadsigns - One Buck Short

I'M HAPPY!!! WHEEEEE~~~~ (let's rewind back the day shall we?)

I went to KL today, and boy, do I ever feel tired. *chotto, asal oreo nih skit jer krim nyer?? waaaaaa.....tak aci* Ok, ok, berbalik kepada agenda hari ni...I woke up around 6 am in the morning, went to bathroom, and got dressed. Haih, after that was done, went to Yana's house (which in case you all didn't know, is my sister, and she's living next door. DON'T ASK WHY ^^) Anywayz, we waited for Kak Izah to arrive, and then off we went to the bus station~~ *thanks Kak Farah sbb tulun antor*

Anywayz, fast forward to two hours later, we arrived in KL Pudu. Haih~ busy as always. We arrived there, Yana terus masuk line for Transnasional for our trip back home. NICE...very berfikiran-jauh, I might say. And Ariff came to pick us up! Yeay for Ariff! So whut shud I say about him eh? He looked as stunning as ever, and he looked more kawaii today! LOVE YOU DEAR! *___*

And then, we were all cramped in that Satria's of Bron (haih Bron...minyak dah mau E la wei....) and Ariff drove us off to KLCC where LOTR was waiting for us. Yeah yeah yeah...second round of LOTR....!!! OMG, there were soo many people in TGv...so long shit the line....if I were one of those ppl, surely I cry first lor~~ But we got our tickets oredi (thanks Ariff!!! Len kali perayat lagi akak TGV neh...just dun forget me ^__^v), and went straight inside. Yeah yeah yeah, FRODO KU!! *chenta chenta* Hehehe, Ariff n me laughed at all battle scenes. I was like, "Gosh dear, we shudn't laugh at that!" and he was like, "Yeah I know...hee hee!!"

After that 3 and a half hours of movie, coldness like hell, and laughter, we went to solat for a lil while. Kak Izah was knocked by this realli slefish girl while she was in the rukuk part. Kesian Kak Izah, dah la kecik...hyuk hyuk!! Anywayz, after that we went to search for a place to eat our dinner, eh dinner plaks, lunch! *Ehehe, sori yek pembace2 sume, otak weng skit* The food courts there were all full, so we ended up eating ath KFC. Whatever lah, I dun care anymore, as long as I get to eat. Hehehe, I ate this UBERLY nice Cheezy Wedges. Not that I haven't eaten that before, but just now it tasted so damn nice!!! SUKI SUKI SUKI!

After that, we kinda departed apart from each other. Yana was with Kak Izah, and me was with Ariff. We just kinda did nothing actually, just browsed around, jenjalan and stuff. I was weird, because I wasn't in my shopping mood! Am I crazy O_O? For those who know me, surely you think me NOT shopping is weird. Ho ho ho, mebbe because there were a tad TOO many people just now in KLCC, and Ariff was a lil bit dizzy +_+ Sori Ariff, kesian kat u...I didn't mean to torture you like that. But in the midst of dizziness he was having, he managed to get me something for my birthday and that was super sweet of him. Really. I feel like I want to cry now....T__T

Anywayz, after that, at five, we went back to the car to catch a bus back to Melaka (ala...dah nak balik) and in the car just now, Ariff gave me this CD he burnt just for me. It's kinda a collection of songs that he likes and I like as well. THAT CD HAS ANA'S SONG INNIT! XDDDDDDDDDDD I LOVE IT DEAR *and I'm now listening to it. You were right, One Buck Short IS NICE! I love That Day!!* Thanks Ariff, I owe you one. *glomps at the cd...* I'll always listen to it. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! That's sweet of you...

So fast forward to two hours later, I arrived in Melaka, and Im now typing my UBERLY long blog. Hee hee. To Yana, Kak Izah, and Ariff, thanks for a great day! LOVE YOU GUYS!

p/s - In case you're wondering, I went to KL because of my anniversary with Ariff. We're 2 years!!! MY GOSH!!!!!! ^_^ I'm in love with him even more!

 izyan just babbled at 10:03 pm 
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